For the last two months (December included), I've been doing my best to be happy and strong. And there were those times when I try to lessen the pain by thinking of things that will benefit our situation. I know it's kind of, I dunno, wrong maybe? But sometimes, it's the only thing that works to make it easier.
One thing na iisipin ko is, if Dad is in Heaven right now with God, eh `di mas maganda. `Di ba? At least doon, hindi na niya kailangang mamroblema. Hindi na niya kailangan isipin yung future. Alam kong it's still hard, even though sinasabi ko na wala na siyang worries and everything kasi wala na siya, but I know he's looking down on us from Heaven. He's still here. As Sirius Black once said,"But know this; the ones that love us never really leave us. And you can always find them in here [puts his hand to Harry's heart]."
He never left us, he's still here. At yun din yung isang sinasabi ko sa sarili ko every time I miss him. And everyday, I am doing my best to help myself to heal. Kasi no matter how hard I cry at night, or how much I miss him, it happened. We can't make the clock turn counterclockwise. Nangyari na ang nangyari at isa lang ang kailangan nating gawin, at yun ay ang dapat natin itong tanggapin.
It still hurts like hell, oo naman. Shit naman. Masakit mawalan ng magulang. Pero pre, tumatakbo ang oras. Alam kong ayaw niyang makita kaming nagmu-mukmok sa isang tabi. Alam kong gusto niyang may mangyaring maganda sa buhay namin. Even though he's not here physically, alam ko naman na andito pa rin siya. Somewhere, Elsewhere. He can still see the things we're doing for him and for Mom. I know he can still feel the love we have for him. ♥