Birthday Wishlist 2014

I'm turning 20 this year! Shit. Hahaha. I don't know if I'm ready (or will I ever be) to move on from my teenage life. I feel so old, like really FEEL it. I know that I'm old, and I really KNOW it. I just don't to accept it yet! So you can imagine this on going fight happening inside me.
I know, I know. 20 is not that old blah blah blah. But pshh. If 20 is "not" old, then what is the age when you can tell yourself that you're not young anymore, right?
But that is another story for another time, because I'm here today to tell you my... birthday wishlist for this year! Lol. It's actually kinda late, because it's already the 17th of July. But what the hell, I love posting these things, so here you go!
  • A curling iron/rollers/rods/whatever. I want to CURL my hair sooo bad. Hahahaha. I don't know why, but I really do. I finally got my hair colored into something copperish last May, but I want to do something different again. I also learned how to blow dry and iron my hair with an straightening iron, so that's the reason why I want to learn how to curl my hair!
  • A new phone. I dropped my tab last... month (?) when I accompanied Jorenn to get his driver's license at LTO and the screen got broken. I can still use it, but the lower part of the screen is now unresponsive, so some of the important features can't be used. Boo me. Jorenn called me, and when I stood up, I forgot that my tab was on my lap! Biggest facepalm of the year. Ughh.
  • String ng gitara o bagong gitara. Dejoke, string lang pwede na. Haha. D-string lang na nylon ang kailangan ko pero ubligadong set ang bilin mo pero wala akong pera kaya kailangan ko ng pera makabili ng isang set. Hahahaha.
Actually wala na kong ibang hiling ngayong birthday ko. Sa dami ng problemang naranasan at nararanasan ko sa buhay ko ngayon, ayoko na talaga umasa sa mga bagay bagay. I mean, wala naman na kasing taong magbibigay niyan sakin. Dati yung kuya ko, kaya lang matagal ko ng tinigilan umasa. Lagi ka lang naman masasaktan, edi itigil mo na lang.
  • Kaya ang totoong hiling ko kay Lord sa twentieth birthday ko eh, sana makatapos ako ng pag-aaral, at sana naman mahintay ako ng mga mahal ko sa buhay ang panahon na yon. Kung di ako nabigyan ng chance na mabigyan ng maginhawa at maganda buhay si Daddy, Lord, nagmamakaawa na ako, sana ibigay niyo na po sakin to. Lord. Yun lang po talaga ang hinihiling ng puso ko sa araw-araw. Sana po wag niyo na po muna kunin sakin ang mga mahal ko sa buhay. Hindi ko na po ata kaya. Jusko. Thank you po!
Ayan. Hahaha. Iba talaga kapag tumatanda. Feel na feel ko nga eh. Feel na feel ko talagang onti-onti ng nagbabago yung mga hiling ko sa buhay. Yung mga gusto ko sa buhay. Dati inda ako ng inda sa problema, ngayon kebs na lang. Putangina. Kung wala edi wala, kung meron edi masaya. Dati pilit ako ng pilit, ngayon hindi. Kung ayaw edi ayaw. Hahahahaha. Tapos na ang mga panahong ako'y umaaasa pa.
ANYWAY. Hahahaha. Yun lang! Ayan. Hahaha. Thank you Lord sa almost 20 years ko sa mundo! <3


Life Recently

It's been a long time since I've blogged about... well, anything. There's nothing new, except for the fact that I'm currently on a hiatus from reading. I don't know. I've been busy all summer long and up until now...
  • I don't know when my summer vacation started, but maybe it was in the middle of March... I went to Manila (at my ninang's house) and stayed there for 2 weeks together with my nephew (just the three of us) where I gained 22 pounds. In just two weeks!!! I know. All we did was eat, sleep, and repeat for 2 weeks!
  • We went home on March 30. I attended a birthday celebration on April 1 and my cousins were VERY surprised when the saw me. Hahaha. I have a photo to show as evidence.
    I never really believed people when they say I'm fat. I don't know. Maybe because we can't really see ourselves just by looking at the mirror. Maybe others can see the "real" us. So when I saw this photo, I was surprised as well. I never believed that I've gotten this big.
    • And since I was going to be a bridesmaid on May 3, I panicked and decided to go on a diet the day after! Those days were some of the most painful experiences of my life.  I was eating less than 1200 everyday. I stopped eating rice. And after a while, I've lost my appetite and stopped eating meat too. I only eat vegetables and fruits. But all the hard work paid off because I lost 22 pounds!

     This was me last May 2, 2014. I was 50 or so kilos at that time. I know I'm still not "skinny" and my arms and legs are still huge (even now), but I'm happy. Well, to say that I'm "happy" is an understatement because I am ECSTATIC. I actually made it!!!
    • After the wedding of my cousin in Baguio last May 3, we went home to Cabanatuan. I was at my aunt's almost everyday up to May 12 just hanging out with my cousins. And EATING. Hahaha. To eat freely again is one of the nicest feelings in the world. Hahahaha. Ugh. I miss you, cousins!
    • And since we ate a lot, I was afraid that I got fat again. So I went on a diet again for ten days before the opening of the new school year. And I actually achieved it! AGAIN!!!! Yayyyyyyyyyy

    Right now, my weight ranges from 49 kilos and 52 kilos. Every time I eat something and feel bloated because of the amount of food I've  consumed, I always feel fat. It became an obsession. An annoying one too. It's so hard to maintain your weight and keep it on a constant value since eating can be so therapeutic, especially with all these school works!

    P.S. For women, losing just ONE kilo of body mass is actually a MIRACLE. So don't be hard on yourself, okay? Unlike men, we don't shed body fat THAT FAST. So if you can't see any results even with one week of dieting, don't give up! Just wait and be patient. Continue your diet and see the fruitful results in the end! Wink ;)