Can't Think of a Title

The thing is, I know myself. I know my faults and my strengths. I know what makes me stronger and yet I also know what my weaknesses are. I know the things that I need to change in myself in order to be a better person but I also know that some things are meant to stay the way that they are because we don't need to change ourselves for others.
When they look at me, I know what they see. I know what they hate in me and I know what they like. During my freshman year in college, when I was still in CLSU, I have this sudden desire to shift courses and apply for the university's Psychology program. Part of it was because I think psychologists are cool, but mostly it was because I know I can be a good one. When people talk to me, I read behind their moods and behaviors and I will have an understanding on what they want me to reply.
For an example, I think that was last week, my classmate joked and told me that we were going to have a surprise defense on our case study. I know that he wanted me to complain or to cry out in surprise or horror. But the stubborn part of myself decided not to give what he wanted. I simply smiled and nodded okay.
I also know what people dislike in me.
  • Some people hate me for being too indifferent when it comes to school works. But the thing is, I'm really not that apathetic. It's just, if I was faced a certain problem (school work and projects), I deal with it. I'm not one to complain about reasonable things. If you see me complaining, it's because I know something (deadline and others) is unreasonable.
  • Some people hate me for being too... open? I don't know the exact word, but it's when I always say what I want to say, no holds barred. If there's one thing I strongly believe in, it's that we're all given voices for a reason. They may hate me for exclaiming profanities one after the other, but I don't care. I don't owe anyone anything and I like being myself and that leads us to...
  • Some people hate me for being myself. Or is it because they want to be like me? I'm not being boastful or anything, but I know that when someone hates you it's because you have something that they want.
  • Some people hate me for being too happy. Do you know what real pain is? Do you? Have you ever encountered something so deep in your life that nothing can seem to lift you back up again? I did. When my dad died, some piece of my soul (and my heart) died too. I thought I could never be happy. There were times when I wanted to die too. But happiness is a choice. It was my choice to make and I chose it. I choose to be happy because I don't want to live in constant emotional pain. Petty and nonsense problems just don't get to me anymore.
I'm happy just the way I am. I may not be the kindest soul on earth nor the most likeable, but that's fine with me. Some people will hate me, some people will not. And as my Facebook cover photo and my Twitter header states, I just don't care if people like me or not anymore.

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