Reality bites. And it fucking hurts.

I finally opened my eyes, to this complicated and perplexed world. As Ms. Rowling once said in one of her books,“Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.” Most of the times, I lied and told myself that some people doesn't change to the way you don't want them to be. But the truth is, they do. People change. Even the people you love and trust the most... they change. Even though I wish that they wouldn't, they eventually will.
At first, accepting it hurts. But then, I know bad things happen for a reason and even though it stings and it sucks ― losing the ones you love and trust that is, we eventually heal.
I lost so much this year ― I lost my Dad, my dreams, my hopes, my inspirations. And I think for a little while, because of the lies I told myself, I'm slowly losing the person that I was before. Changing to another person full of hate and belligerency. And because of that, I'm also losing the people that once liked and loved me.
I blinded myself by believing that once a person loves you, they won't leave. But guess what? They do. When I finally admitted that, I told myself that that's my cue to move on and make a change as well.
Two of my favorite quotes are from Sarah Ockler's novel Fixing Delilah. And these two sayings are the ones that keep me going forward.

“In your entire life, you can probably count your true friends on one hand. Maybe even on one finger. Those are the friends you need to cherish, and I wouldn't trade one of them for a hundred of the other kind. I'd rather be completely alone than with a bunch of people who aren't real. People who are just passing time.” 
“I was, but then I realized that I was holding on to something that didn't exist anymore. That the person I missed didn't exist anymore. People change. The things we like and dislike change. And we can wish they couldn't all day long but that never works.”

Life, it's hard and it sucks sometimes, but you know what? It's beautiful, too. Once we accept and open our eyes to the vast world full of hate, change, and anger.. we will finally see the world as an overwhelming place full of love.